Sex After Babies: The Reality

Posted on Jun 25, 2021 by 1 Comment

I’m not talking about the six week check-up go ahead, I’m talking about three or four months into having a new baby. I read an article in this month’s Parenting Magazine about going from “mommy” time to lover” time, about how to make the transition so that you and your partner can have better sex. It got my attention - of course it got my attention…anything that says “better sex” gets just about anyone’s attention.

Some of the recommendations: sex up your day while a mommy. Wear sexy undies, even if you’re wearing sweats. Think dirty thoughts. Meditate. Drink wine. Wow - nice ideas if you don’t have kids.

And now back to reality…anything underneath sweats is still covered up by the sweats. While there is a chance that my mommy persona may occasionally remember that I’ve got a leopard print thong on, what is more than likely to happen is that I’ll look in the mirror and just see tired ole me in baggy (and more than likely dirty) sweats.

As for dirty thoughts, I have plenty of those. They go something like this: eewww, spit up down my hand, sleeve and pants. Oh well, what sense in washing them now? Dirt encrusted little hands pawing at my shirt begging to be picked up…so much for wearing white. So, for mommies, I venture a guess that dirty means a whole different thing.

And finally, meditating and drinking wine. Can someone explain to me the difference? I mean, I get the whole “let’s drink a glass of wine and feel sensual” thing, but for me (and this might make me a bad person) wine is a much coveted BREAK from the craziness around me. Just a sip; just that first sip even. It’s like relaxation in a glass.

I do see how that might lead one to think sexy thoughts. Really I can. Only, it kinda just allows my body to go from blocking all that exhaustion so I can get through the day to becoming unwound at the end of the day. And by unwound, I mean lying in a pile of frayed yarn on the floor.

So, as much as I applaud the notion that you can channel your inner sex goddess as a mommy, I have my reservations. Maybe THAT’s my problem.

photo credit: balinto

Posted in: Health, Mommy Stuff

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  • busy kids=happy mom

    I love the honesty in this article! I think every mom appreciates some truth in this area. No one talks about it. When your doctor gives you the green light at the check-up - most women tell me they were secretly hoping he’d give them another 6 week pass!!