The Mommy Files: Can We Ever Accept Our Post-Baby Bodies?

Posted on Feb 7, 2021 by 4 Comments

It’s a funny thing. Yesterday I was “pottying a tinkle” (as my toddler calls it) when I felt a bit of skin on my belly sort of tuck under…that’s the only way to describe it. I thought, this couldn’t possibly be happening…not to me. It was fine when I was standing up. There was no sag or drag…a little pooch perhaps, but no sagging.

Cautiously, I put my hand to my abdomen. Yes, yes, there it was. A belly roll. Disgusted, I hopped off the loo and vowed that I would start a diet tomorrow. I would not let this get the best of me. I would be out running a half-marathon next summer…and the list when on and on.

Then I went to the kitchen, leaned against the counter, and savored a chocolate Super Bowl cupcake while I contemplated how I would do this. An app that records my every calorie? A blog about what I was doing? How would I keep myself honest? I made my decision and moved on, though I didn’t mention it out loud, because we all know how I feel about our own body images ruining our little girls.

When I got up this morning, this blog post at Scary Mommy was the first thing I read over my morning coffee. I’m the first to admit that I agree completely with what she’s saying…even if I preach otherwise. Though I do believe we need to keep our dismal body opinions to ourselves so as not to complicate matters with our little ones, I do hate the fact that, even after 10 years of being together, I now hate getting dressed in front of the hubs. In fact, I often get dressed in the bathroom just so he doesn’t walk in to the bedroom when I have only one leg in my jeans. Then I found Shape of a Mother and realized that there is this whole underground society of women who are horribly dissatisfied with how their post-baby body looks.

And, while this article at Baby Center talks about the “first few weeks” after you’ve had the baby, it says nothing about the fact that, for many women, post-baby jiggle is still going on when you kiss your kid goodbye on the first day of Kindergarten. Do real moms even write these stories? And if they do, why are they giving us false hope?

So, from vowing to lose the roll to a cupcake in the kitchen to finding another group of women who are sad about the flab, I’m still not satisfied and still not wanting to accept the little extra that is mine. And while I should stop eating the cupcakes, and I know I should accept my little belly, there’s one I’m just not able to do yet…the cupcakes are the easy part.

Let’s discuss. Have you accepted your post-baby body? What did it take to finally get you there?

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Posted in: Health, Maternity, Mommy Stuff

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  • Henny Ort

    what a loaded question. i hate my body. i hate the fact that my girl’s body is hidden under layers of mommyhood. i love that i’m a mom, but why does every part of my body have to tell the tale?
    tummys are not the only place i need help emergency. i want to get back to myself. hmmph.

  • Ruby T.

    I cannot tell you how much I LOVE that quote in the photo! I am so going to refer to my stretch marks as “earning my stripes” from now own. It’s a very empowering thought, and when I see them I won’t sigh, I’ll know that I have been through the battles of motherhood and I am still winning.

  • Anna Kitchens-Culp

    I’m relieved to hear someone say that they are neither loving their post-baby jiggle nor completely snapped back to the best shape of their life because they kill themselves at the gym. I work out daily and eat fairly healthfully, but my stomach sags. It’s always been naturally poochy, but it’s as if I’m 4 months pregnant all the time, and my previously perky belly button now frowns. I do not feel empowered by that. I do not feel sexy when I see it hanging down while I crank out push-ups. Is it “worth it” to have brought my daughter to the world? Of course! But my daughter is a beautiful daily reminder of that. I would like my belly button back, please. (And my stretch marks are on my ass, not my belly…would any amount of she-ra! make that empowering?) That being said, if other women embrace their changed body, good for them! I just think the feelings either way are valid. May we all try to live healthfully and try not to obsess or frequently speak negatively about our bodies.

  • Mommy With Selective Memory

    While I was pregnant one of my friends told me that post-breastfeeding my boobs would become “smaller and saggier”. I swore that wouldn’t happen to me, but she was right! I have heard that the French women spray cold water on the breasts every morning to preserve them. I hate cold water though. Bummer. I think at the very least I need to get a better sports bra for running!