Why You Need to Thank Your Significant Other

by stacie on January 4, 2021

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the majority of the Modern Home Modern Baby readers are those of us who play the role of mom. Now, I know we have a few dads in the mix, but I think moms are far more drawn to this blog.

With that said, I’m going to focus this on what we as women should be doing, and that is thanking our husbands or significant other. Daily.

As women, I think we often have the mindset that we can do it all. I know I do. In fact, I’m the first to admit that I play the role of martyr on a regular basis.

Yes, it’s ugly. But fessing up is the first step in recovery, right?

In our house, most things are pretty equal, but I still feel the need to do it all. And when my husband does something totally normal, like loading the dishwasher, I trip all over myself thanking him.

The result? He thinks I’m being condescending instead of appreciative. In his words, and I quote, “Why in the hell is this such a big deal, Stacie? I just loaded the dishwasher. I didn’t figure out world peace.”

And he’s right. But because I don’t show him appreciation on a regular basis (tsk, tsk), when I do, it comes across as obnoxious.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Just like us, men like to be appreciated. I mean, think about how nice it feels when someone notices somethings we’ve done - especially normal everyday stuff.

And no, I’m not saying you need to thank him for changing a toilet paper roll, but when he mows the lawn, tell him it looks nice.

If he cooks dinner, tell him it tastes good.

And for Pete’s sake, tell him he’s a good dad, that he reads awesome bedtime stories, and that you admire his patience to build the same Lego structure 400 times in a row, only to have the baby knock it down and say, “Again, Daddy! Again!”

For some of you (one of my best friends included) you may chafe at the idea of this. “Why should I do that? He doesn’t tell me that the dinner I cook tastes good or that I’m a super-fab diaper changer.” <insert pouty face here> But the truth is, someone has to start the cycle, ya know? If you start mentioning the things you appreciate about him, he’ll be more aware of appreciating you, too. And expressing it.

Do you know what two spouses who openly appreciate each other equals? A much stronger relationship. And we all know that stronger relationships equal stronger families.

Who can’t get on board with that?

photo credit: SjoerdvW

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Julie C. January 4, 2021 at 10:57 am

I know, we expect our men to read our minds and know what we need or want. But often, they don’t. They want to “wind down after a hard day at work” and while that statement makes us CRAZY because moms never get to be off the clock, not everyone thinks the way we do. So when they do step up, especially when unbidden, men really do subconsciously love getting stroked for it. Why fight it? A little compliment can go a long way.

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